my shirt

Its green, and has a hedgehog on it. Above the hedgehog are the words: Hedgehogs. Why don't they just share the hedge?


As I write this, I hear loud running on the floor above me. Sometimes I feel like the boys make lots of noise JUST so we'll hear it. No other reason. I don't mind it though. Its just a part of life, I guess.


I'm feeling kind of sick. Snaps for first sickness of college... My throat hurts, and thats about it for now. I've been really smart about taking care of myself though. Lots of vitamen C, water, and clean hands!!  I don't like being sick here because there is always things to do, and its hard to have time in my room to myself (especially since I share the room with another person). I also want to get rid of this illness because when I go home in less than a week, I want to be totally and completely ready for anything. I don't plan on getting much sleep next weekend because hopefully I will be way toooo busy with friends.


Thats kind of all I have to say for now.

arkarna

Or at least the song "So Little Time". I'm sure the rest of the their music is fantastic as well, I'm just yet to experience it.


I've listened to a lot of new music lately. I think this has been good for me, I've listened to music a lot more recently and in return I have been able to think more. There has been a lot on my mind recently, mainly because so much has been going on. I've determined the right way to deal with a lot of these issues in my thinking time; however, I have trouble executing what I think is right. Needless to say, its tough. And I can't stay away.


I'm going to try to explain how I feel without delving too much into the situation on the internet.  I ended things with someone because I knew that it wouldn't be healthy for me.  But upon ending it, I have been hoping that somewhere down the line things work out between us.  Which is why it is so hard for me to stay away.  Because ALL the feelings I've ever had are still there, and these feelings are as strong as ever.  I've tried to get rid of said feelings, but no matter how much I build him up as a bad person in my head, my thoughts always go back to all the sweet things he's done, all the good memories, and how comfortable and RIGHT it feels when I'm in his arms.  Thats the way to describe it - it all just feels right, like its meant to be, when I'm around him.  


I've been talking about this to my friends back home through messages a lot, and one of my friends asked me if I thought I loved him.  I answered no. I know my answer was truthful. I don't love him. I mean, I potentially could one day, down the line. If things worked out.  But I realized that I DO care an awful lot about this boy.  I know its not love, because I know that I would KNOW love. I would have no doubts.  I'm not even close to in love with this boy. But it still hurts like crazy.  And this scares me, because if it hurts this much when I'm not even close to in love with him, how much is something like this going to hurt when I DO fall in love?


Relationships are a scary thing.  You open yourself up to someone. You give them everything. As time goes by, your feelings deepen, and you make yourself more vulnerable. And this person could hurt you SO easily.  Just one small action of theirs could break your heart.  Or if they don't feel the same way as you any longer. Just the thought of the amount of hurt possible is causing me pain at this very moment.


But at the same time, relationships can be so beautiful.  I've never really been in a relationship, but I've heard stories.  I'm thinking that if people stay in relationships despite the possibility of having their heart broken, they must be pretty special. At least, I hope so.

charlotte

I just got my birthday present from Charlotte in the mail.  It was the most amazing package ever - and I think what made it even better was that it was almost a month and a half late.  It made me feel that birthday joy on a day that is not my birthday :)


Anywho, I'm just going to highlight two items in the package. 1) An embellished hanger. Yes. SO BEAUTIFUL. 2) Temporary knuckle tattoos.  For girls.  There are 14 total with short phrases like "Jail bait", "Good girl", "A hot mess" & etc. I'm so stoked you don't even know.


Not much has changed since yesterday!! The pain still exists, but I'm doing my best not to think about it :) It helps being surrounded by people who appreciate me :)


It is slightly odd how frequently updating this blog. It will stop, I can promise that.  I think the only reason I'm even writing this blog entry is that I have a term paper that I should be writing right now.  And its not even that I don't want to write - the writing is fine. I like writing, obviously. Its the research that bugs me. And finding the facts I want to include (with the sources).  Once I got all of that done, I'm good. Part of it is also getting started.


I feel like I had some pretty realistic dreams last night, but I can't quite remember them. I think they included people here.  If I remember it later, it will be the first dream I've had about anyone hear that I remember.  Most of the people in my dreams are still friends back home and some random strangers.


I want to paint my nails a new color. However, I only brought two nail colors to college with me, and I am sick of them both.  I think I may have to find some nail polish to borrow.


I think this will be all for now.  I need to write that dang paper.


Szia! :)

gleeee

I just watched the episode from Tuesday night.  There were some deep subject matters there. Yep.


Moving on. 


Why do I cause pain for myself?  The pain I'm feeling right now could have EASILY been prevented. All I had to do was be strong. I suppose I could still be in the situation, so it was smart of me to stop things before I opened myself up to being hurt even more.  But arggh... it stilll hurts so bad.  (Apologies for being vague).


By the way. Charlotte and I are creepily connected.


And I should be working on a term paper right now, but I'm super tired (despite getting around 7 hours of sleep last night).


sdfhsjdfasdf

apples

I've been eating apples pretty much nonstop the past week. I think its partly because I haven't been eating treats. I've already had two today. TWO.


Speaking of eating... well, thats just something I haven't been doing much of lately. And by lately, I mean the past three days. Tuesday, Wednesday, and today. It started on Tuesday... my stomach was feeling weird. It didn't hurt. It just felt funny. I suspected the reason for this was because I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. I literally rested my head on a pillow from 9:15-10:00. Anyway, I thought after getting sleep on Tuesday night I would feel infinitely better and totally hungry. No such luck. So basically, I'm still not hungry, and my stomach still feels totally weird.


I've been having a really fantastic time at college. Theres been a lot of drama and a few things that hurt me, but despite that, I'm still managing to have a lot of fun. I wish I could write about whats been going on, but thats not something I feel comfortable writing for the whole world to see. I know that no one really reads this, it just scares me because there is potential that someone - ANYONE - could see it.


I miss my Charlotte. A lot. Oh my gosh, I miss her so much. We've talked a bit lately, but I honestly just want to talk to her all the time. I honestly couldn't ask for a better best friend. She always makes me feel better. Just yesterday in my econ class I was thinking about when I went to Hungary. After I got off the plane and Budapest, got my luggage, and went through customs I walked into the room where everybody was waiting. And there she was. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment. Charlotte ducked under the rails, and rushed to give me a hug. Possibly the best hug of my life.


Why do I only write in this blog when I'm feeling somewhat down about something? Argh. I actually started this blog feeling rather content about everything, but as always, I reminded myself of things that I shouldn't think about when I'm happy. Go me. WHOO.


I think I'm gonna end this here before I think of other things I miss....


SZIA.

poptarts

I haven't had one in awhile, but I'm hecka craving one right now. Strawberry, preferably.


So lifes been pretty rough the past week. I don't really feel like posting the details on the internet where it is accessible for anyone to read, but at the same time I just kinda feel like writing some crazy rant-y blog. But I won't. Just know that I've been hurt. And I'm really conflicted at the moment.


College is going well. I really miss Charlotte! But we've been communicating a lot, so I'm not really worried about growing apart. And I've made some pretty good friends so far. I'm doing my best to get into the routine of things - with homework and all.  I'm definitely not used to doing homework at all, so its been super weird for me to have SO much.


I'm watching Mean Girls right now, so I'm kinda distracted. Soooo that'll be it for now.


Szia!

awkwardness

• You check your phone, because you have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
• Wait for the right time to say something, you get interrupted. Twice
• Someone you vaguely know is walking in front of you. You maintain distance.
• Hold the door for some. They’re slightly too far away.
• Someone comes online, you say “hey”, they go offline.
• You go in for the high-five. Other person isn’t looking.
• Accidentally look someone in the eye. Pretend to look past them.
• You say something stupid. You play it down, but everyone sees your face going red.
• You say “hi” to someone. It comes out as a whisper.
• Your friends formed a circle while you were gone. You can’t fit and end up standing slightly askew.
• Waiting by yourself for friends. Pretend you’re texting.
• You tell a hilarious joke. Nobody laughs.
• You’re in class and you want to cough. Some other person just coughed, now you have to wait.
• Walk into the restrooms and the stalls are full; pretend you only came here to wash your hands then leave.
• The person in front is walking slightly slower than you are. You walk at an uncomfortable speed to get past them.
• AWKWARD SILENCE.

^I didn't write this, but its SO BEAUTIFULLY TRUE.

dreams

As in the dreams you have when you're sleeping. Not the dreams that are like... what you hope for yourself. Well, actually I like those too. Its just not what I was referring to.


Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I had a really awesome dream a few nights ago. And it was one of those dreams thats just like... whoa. So I'm gonna write about it, cause I really enjoy talking about it.


SO. There was good and evil in the world. I was on the good side (or so I thought, for all I know, it could have been actually evil. But in my opinion: GOOD). The people on the good side followed a spirit-man-silver thing. Those on the bad side followed the same type of creature, except evil. And the bad guy was the only person in the dream (besides me) who had a name. His name was Jeff. But I'm gonna name all the characters in the dream because it gets somewhat confusing. Lets call the good guy I followed... Peter.


Peter and his upper followers (ie other people and me) were hanging out at a park, when all of the sudden Peter disappeared with a flash of silver. The flash of silver was in the form of a deer. Like. A Patronous is a good way to describe what it was. Anyway, we all knew what that meant. Jeff and his minions. (For the record, you should know that Jeff is trying to kill Peter.)


The minions (they buzzzzzed!) appear, and alll the other followers of Peter and I have to get at the bottom of a slide (there were SO MANY SLIDES) because we needed to claim them, and also because the minions would go down them and we wanted them to get stuck. I was a little late getting a slide. So I had to fight a minion for one, but in the middle of the fight the minions retreated, so I took control of the slide. 


Well, next came more of Jeff's followers, only these were actual humans and could speak rather than buzz. So there was one of the bad followers in the slide I had claimed, trying to push me so it could get out. It must have been a small boy cause he wasn't very strong and I wasn't having any difficulty maintaining my ground. 


A tall blonde guy appeared (we shall call him Neil) and all of the sudden the little boy trying to push me was a bigger boy. But in my mind he was always the same person, he just hadn't actually been trying to push me before. Anyway, after a few blows, and I fell on the ground, and Neil captured me.


So, I was hostage (it was like, behind some bushes but it was somehow an actual building? Idk), and I was the only hostage for awhile. I talked to Neil a bit, yada yada. Then another hostage appeared, and Neil had to go do an errand because it turns out he was basically Jeff's second in command. (Also during all this time I can see Peter's silver flash everywhere meaning he was popping from place to place and I was thinking Jeff was really stupid for being unable to find Peter)


The other hostage was like, "Yo, theres an easy way to escape." And I said, "Umm don't think thats such a good idea..." So the other hostage was attempting to escape, but then Neil came back and caught him! And I really really wanted Neil to know that I was not trying to escape, I had actually thought it was a bad idea. It was at this moment in the dream that I realized I WAS IN LOVE WITH NEIL. But it was wrong cause he was evil!


And I don't really remember anything beyond that point. I think I woke up. 


So yes, I quite enjoyed that dream. I wonder if it has some sort of deep meaning. 


College starts soonnnn. Agh. My best friend leaves this Friday. Thats pretty much the only thing I'm nervous for. It feels like the next four days will be the only days where it will ever be the same again. We're gonna try like crazy to stay insanely close... but what if when we see each other again its just awkward or something? I dunno, I'm nervous cause its possible that it will never be this good with her ever again. So I wanna make the most of it. But I would pretty much do anything to stay as close as we are now, if not closer. Hungary and London really brought us together. We were close already... but being together 24/7 strengthened it. Which is why another trip with her to a place I love would be fantastic. I'm pretty sure I covered this a few days ago... but eh. Its something I just feel like writing about anyway, regardless of whether I already did or not.


Anyway, haven't read any of the blogs I follow since I got home over 3 weeks ago, so Immma go do that.


Szia!

lazy days

But unfortunately, lazy days are not something I should be having right now. I leave for school in 13 days, and I need to squeeze in all the time with friends that I can. Although my best friend leaves 4 or 5 days before I do, which really really sucks. 


Rant time. Well, not rant. But sad rambling.


I don't know how I'm gonna survive without my best friend. I mean, obviously I will. And obviously I will make new friends. But not being able to see her everyday? Yeah, we have done it before (every summer before when she was in Hungary), but then she would always come back and we'd have like 9 months together! Now its gonna be like... 2 days together. 3 weeks. 1 week. And over and over again, since she'll be spending her summer in Hungary. I feel like going to Hungary next summer would be amazing cause we would be together again, nonstop, for a few weeks. I already really miss that, and as it is right now I see her at least every 2 days. I kind of tear up just thinking about it. I need to try to find some good friends in college, but is it gonna be possible to find one that I love and click with as much as her?


Everyone always says that highschool friends drift apart. I'll be so heartbroken if that happens with us. I think we'll try really hard to stay in contact for sure, and I think we'll always be kinda close. But I'm afraid emails, phone calls, and etc. will be few once we get into the swing of things. Gah. Colleges that are far apart suck.


Epiphany - Maybe thats part of why I loved Hungary so much? Because she was there. And I knew we would be separated soon? 


But I still love Hungary as a whole itself, and would love to go back next summer (if possible, and I get the parents to agree...). I miss it. Alot. I made a lot of friends, and if I don't get to go back next summer, I may never see them again. It NEEDS to happen. I'm willing to get a new job ASAP in Seattle, and save like crazy and pay for it 100%.... 


Enough whining. I can't think of anything to talk about at this point, so I think I'm gonna end it here.


Szia. (This reminds me! I installed a language sofware thing on my comp so I can learn more Hungarian. If/When I go back, I wanna be able to understand stuff a little easier... :D)

europe

....but I LOVE Hungary. Oh my gosh. Words cannot explain how much I love that country. 

First and foremost - I'M BACK :) From my trip to Hungary and Europe, that is. And I easily had the best time of my life. 

Hungary is just such an amazing place. The town I was staying in with my friend.. its so... I don't even know how to explain it. I guess you could say 'village', which was how we described it to each other. You would see people you know everywhere. People talk to you more. At night, instead of hanging out at a house, we would just walk to the Main Square or to the playground and we would ALWAYS find someone to hang out with or talk to. The food? Freaking amazing. 

The language barrier was a bit annoying, but my friend speaks fluent Hungarian. And I could almost always find someone who spoke decent English. And when the boys spoke in English it was so cute! :) Everyone I met was extremely nice, and it aches to know that I will most likely never see them every again. Fingers crossed though.

There are SO many stories I could tell, but for now I'll just stick with one (as I am jetlaggged, and should take a nap if I want to get back on this timezone).

We spent one weekend at a lake, and we stayed the three nights in a hostel. And oh man, this hostel is probably the best hostel in the entire world. People hanging out downstairs during the day and the evening. While most go out at night, if you don't there are no worries because there are still people to hang out with. The rooms were nice, and the manager of the hostel was freaking awesome. Anyway. There was this one guy hanging around. We first noticed him at 1 PM on a Friday afternoon. His name was Milan (with accents over the i and a, I think). He was drunk. At 1 PM. The next day, when we woke up and went downstair, Milan was still there. And he was still drunk. And shortly thereafter, his pants disappeared (he was however wearing underwear). Next day. We were downstairs before 10. And guess who was still drunk? Milan, of course. His shirt had also mysteriously disappeared. We joked that he got more naked each day, and I'm kinda glad we didn't stick around till the next day to test that theory even farther... 

Thats all for now! More to come later (maybe).

mail

More specifically; getting mail. Especially getting mail from the college I'm attending in the fall. Seeing a letter saying I need to send something in... or a postcard or pamphlet with some information... it just makes my day! That being said I plan to send my friends postcards while I'm away. Sure, it may not be as exciting as something from college... (but maybe it will be?)

Tonight my cousin and her husband came up for dinner since it was the last time they would see me before I leave for Hungary. Its crazy - I already had to say some goodbyes, and I don't even leave until Tuesday afternoon! Of course, tomorrow will have more goodbyes...

I remember when Charlotte left for Hungary a little over a month ago... or more specifically, two days before she left. I knew it would be the last time I would see her until I went to Hungary. My other three friends were sharing long hugs and saying goodbye like crazy. When it came to me, I refused to hug her goodbye. "I refuse to say goodbye because I'll be seeing you soon."

Goodbyes suck. I'm going to be away from everything I've ever known in a few days, and these people I have to say goodbye to are my comfort. At least its only 5 weeks. I'm really worried about college. It won't be a vacation. It will just be my life. I'm scared I'll have a tough time adjusting. Well, I know I will. 

Hungary is going to be like a practice college. I'm especially worried, because I won't even be in the country. I won't be able to call or email my family and friends all I want. 

Then again, I'm really excited. Mainly to see my best friend and meet new people.

I'm just having difficulty shaking the nerves! I didn't even feel nervous before today! Granted, I was always paranoid that I will have sleeping issues over there. But now I'm just scared of missing people. Its gonna be hard.

...and I'm pretty much going in circles here saying how nervous/excited I am. Ah.

I am really excited for tomorrow though!

And for sleeping in my bed tonight. Only 2 more sleeps. Crazy.

strawberries for dessert

The past few days, I have ditched the ice cream sitting in my freezer, and ate fruit for dessert. Two days in a row. I'm a big dessert-lover and all. But let me tell you - sometimes fruit can hit the spot.

There is kind of a reason for my eating of fruit instead of ice cream. Remember in my last blog post where I was excited because there was one day where I ate absolutely no sweets? I'm on a mission to do that again. Only this time it has been extended. I know I can do it one day...why not four? 

I actually would have made it more days, but on Friday I have a friends birthday party. So cake or something shall be eaten then. With my departure very soon comes good food as I weasel my mother into maybe baking something I like.

Besides, while abroad I should be eating healthier and getting more exercise since I will be getting around a lot by feet and bicycle. 

Anyway. I've had SO many cravings. Ugh. Mostly for cookies and cakes. But alas, today was day two! And it feels good to be without crap food. I have more energy. Saying all this makes me feel like a nutrition ad. And I should probably should stop talking about it but I'm just really excited. I'm honestly a HUGE eater. I'm lucky in the way that I put on a very small amount of weight (fast metabolism?) but I've always been afraid that one day it will catch up with me.

Today I did something (besides go to the gym, which doesn't even count as an activity since I do it every single day...)! I went to my friend Molly's house, and we watched Toy Story 1 & 2. Oh gosh, I could go on for forever about how much I love that series. Number 2 is definitely my least favorite (nonetheless, still amazing). And number 1 is just extremely fun and original. I can't decide if 3 or 1 is my favorite. I feel like 1 is just amazing. And so is 3. But 1 has the whole funny factor and makes you fall in love with the characters. While in 3 you already love the characters, and thus making it fantastic. And gosh, such a tear jerker. I love tear jerkers, kay?

Tomorrow should be exciting! I'm not gonna say what I'm gonna do - I'll just write about it next time that I post.

Ummm so new favorite tv show in the house! Can you say 'yea'? YEA! (That was really lame). Anyway, yes, I have a new show that I like a lot. Its called "Huge", and while it seems like a weird idea for a show, its actually got a great story line, with many inner stories. Also, this character named George? He's totally FINE. He may just make my list of hottest men in the near future... The actors name is Zander Eckhouse (hot name, right?) and just...oh my yum. Check him out on the left. 

On another note... I leave for Hungary in a week! Agh, so exciting. I can't believe the trip is almost here! It feels like just yesterday I was starting my countdown from 33 sleeps. Now, I reside at 7! Crazy (in a really really good way!!)

At this moment in time, I'm not very tired. But I should get to bed. Its probably a good, idea, right?


=D

Last movie watched: Toy Story 2  (Already mentioned, oh well!!)
Days till Hungary: 7!

water

Cause seriously. If there weren't water in the world, we'd all pretty much be nonexistent. Plus its especially handy in the summer for swimming in. And drinking. By the pool.  "Ahh, waiter, could you please fetch me a tall glass of ice water and set it down right next to my beach bag? Thanks"

Now, before you all go getting mad at me because I haven't posted a blog in over a week, just remember that there are none of 'you', and I've been busy.

But not really.

To be completely honest, for the past week I've been up to nothing. And its not like I just forgot this blog existed. I just didn't feel like writing. Also, I only thought about writing in the blog while I was actually doing something. 

So lets cover the last week as quickly as possible.

6/24-6/25: I went to Seattle and registered for classes. It went well, I got almost all the classes I wanted. The one class I didn't get didn't even really matter. Another annoyance is that one of the classes I got I had to take a different time because the time I wanted was full.

6/26: I went frisbee-ing with Louie, and then we went to my friends house cause I needed to borrow a pair of heels. I locked my keys in my car. That was fun. Then I had a rehearsal dinner (for a wedding) to get to. We rehearsed the wedding ceremony, and then went to Chevy's where I ate lots and lots of chips and salsa. Also, some other things that I ordered, but only nibbled on cause I was so full from the delicious chips.

6/27: Wedding day! Not mine, obviously! It went well, though my feet hurt really bad from those freaking heels. Youch. 

6/28: Took a day to relax cause I had not had a day of relaxation in over a week. It was very...relaxing.

6/29: I WAS planning on going to the lake again...but...I didn't finish chores in time. 'Relaxation' again. Not too bad.

6/30: I had work. But not till 4, so that didn't really count for anything. Yippee. Relaxing isn't so much fun anymore. Oh! My mother and I also rented Dear John. I cried. Suckaaaaa!

1/1: Oh whats that Amy? You don't wanna relax anymore? Too bad, so sad! Around 7 PMish, I went to see Toy Story 3 with my mother. Yet another movie that makes me cry. Also, I wish Andy were real cause I'm kinda in love with him, kay?

1/2: This is really getting old. I relaxed some more. Just kidding, I'm not that much of a loser!! Oh how I wish I was kidding. I DID have another boring day. Though productive! I called the AP hotline or whatever to send my AP scores to the college I'm going to. And...called my highschool to make sure my transcripts were sent out. Shut up, I consider that productive.  At night time I took my sister to see Eclipse. It was ok, a lot better than I expected (seeing as I didn't really wanna see it in the first place and was just really desperate to get out of the house). The main conclusion I drew from the movie: Taylor Lautner is not a very good actor. He's nice to look at though. OH! Most important part of this day! I didn't eat any sweets! I was all healthy! Whoot, whoot.

(I just realized going to the gym has been part of my schedule nearly everyday, but I haven't been mentioning it. Oh well, it doesn't really count for anything...)

1/3 (thats today!!!): I went to the mall with my mother, then I went and got a pedicure with my friend Savannah (yay for seeing someone other than family!). When I got home, my mom and I watched Leap Year. Awful awful movie. And you know its a bad movie when I say its bad, cause I usually like bad movies.

So yep, thats been my week. That wasn't very quick as I intended. Oh well.

Currently reading: Nothing

Last read: I forget what its called. I just went through a bunch of books from the library.

not being a tomato

Dear sunburn that is currently residing on my chest and stomach,

Please go away. You hurt. And when I put aloe on you, you still hurt a little, and the aloe sticks to my shirt and stays wet and gross. Also, you look bad. I'm going to Seattle tomorrow, and I would like to look nice and not need to wear a turtle neck to cover you. Usually you turn to a tan the next day...but this time...welll, lets just say I'm never letting you come back. I'd rather be completely white.

Love, Amy

Burn baby burn! Disco inferno! Burn baby burn!

Ok, so I guess its only fair I talk about where this sunburn came from.

Besides the big obvious - the sun - I went to the lake yesterday with a friend and her boyfriend! And by yesterday, I mean Tuesday (not Wednesday, as it is now technically Thursday).  

It was uber uber fun! And just plain relaxing. 

I was SO white though. But only on my stomach. So oh-so-brilliant me used some of my friends tanning oil.  BAD IDEA. I was slightly pink yesterday when I got home, it hurt a little last night. Nothing too bad. I woke up this morning. Bam. So. Red.

And its just super annoying cause my sunburns always brown super fast.  Another major bumski is that I was wearing shorts yesterday. And I further enhanced the tan line on my thighs (it was already there from tennis, I just made it worse).

Guessss I will be wearing shorts when I go swimming now. There is NO way I'm gonna risk another burn. And where my shorts rub? Not happening.

But back to the lake yesterday. We were lounging on our towels (I was reading) and this kid sets up his towel kind of right next to us, and he just started talking to us. And then he asks to use my friends tanning oil. Really? Seriously? You're a guy! You're not supposed to care about that stuff.  It doesn't help that he totally got browner and I did nothing but get pinker. So jealous.  He was pretty cool though. We didn't talk much but he would randomly say stuff.

And then last night I played frisbee/on the playground with my friends Clarissa and Cheyenne. I have improved my frisbee game so much! And on you tube I looked some stuff up that I'm gonna have to end up teaching myself. Next time I play with Louie, he's gonna be so impressed and jealous of my skill - he won't know what hit him (hopefully the frisbee! :] Kiddddding)

Despues playing, we went to Clarissa's house and had some of the best girl talk ever. The reason it was the best girl talk ever was because it wasn't even really about boys. Now THAT bonding. We did talk a lot about wedding stuff because Clarissa is engaged. And shes getting married! On Sunday! I'm a bridesmaid, and I'm getting pretty excited.

Today was far less exciting. I woke up, gymmed, relaxed, worked, more relax. I liked it though. When I'm busy on other days, these lax days are so much better.

I hate when I'm thinking one thing and my fingers type another thing. I realized a week ago when reading through some blog entries I read some REALLY bad grammatical errors. And just sentences that don't make sense. But when reading this, you have to keep in mind that these are just my thoughts, and so sometimes I'll be halfway through a thought, and then I'll reconfigure the wording, or accidentally type another word. No edits, because I typically don't go back and reread everything before I post it. Its all raw material, baby! (Though as I type I DO pay close attention to spelling. In Mozilla words spelled incorrectly are underlined in red, and I usually can tell when I spell words wrong anyway. However, when I spell a word right, and its a word pronounced the same but means something out...welll, thats a different story.) I also rarely pay attention to apostrophes. Live with it.

Know whats weird? How I only put one space between sentences. I know I'm supposed to put two, but in journalism, its only one space between sentences. And I remember just a few months ago (at that point I had more than a full years experience in journalism) having difficulty remembering to put one space instead of two! And now I can't kick the habit of just one ): Its so much easier! Well, thats a lie, its really not that much easier. Does anyone even notice how many spaces there are anyway?

Last book read: A different Gossip Girl book

Currently reading: Charming Thirds***

***I should mention that Charming Thirds is the last of the 8 books I got Monday afternoon. Yep. Me=Lame. I'm kinda disappointed though, because I won't have enough reading material for my plane ride tomorrow, and the plane ride Friday! And the library doesn't open till 11 tomorrow...which sucks cause I leave at 10:15. Urrrrrgh.

ice cream

Alllll kinds too! Though I prefer it without nuts. But yep, just finished a bowl of mint chip. It was GOOOOOOD. 

Today I did a lot of stuff. This week is turning out to be a pretty good one!! :) Even though its only Monday. So yay. Anywho. 

This morning I woke up and went to the gym. Then, came home showered, and picked up my friend Louie. We went to a nearby elementary school and played frisbee (he's teaching me how to play better), played on the playground, and then we headed over to my (ex)highschool and played some tennis (I'm teaching him on this one). 

This reminds me - have I not mentioned tennis? Well, I LOVE tennis. And I think I'm pretty good. I mean, I was at least the best girl in my school this year. Yup, #1 girls singles, baby! I haven't played really at all since the season ended a month or so ago, but thats ok. It ended well. Today made me want to play more. But I'm all about the competition for me. No competition - no motivation. Theres no tennis team in Seattle, which I guess is good because I need to focus on school, and I would be a small fish in a large pond, but knowing I'll never play for a school again is tough. 

Oh, anyway, back to today. After I dropped my friend Louie off at his house, I went to the library and picked up some books to read.

I remember in middle school and right before highschool during the summer I would go to the library every few days and get like ten books. I would then read them all, and make another trip.  Today kind of reminded me of this. I miss it. If I always have books, I won't be bored. So I plan to read lots and lots of books this summer. I only got eight today, but it should still last me a few extra days because I'm pretty busy until next Monday.

Though that being said, I already have read two, and it wouldn't be hard to knock out two more each day (even with all my plans).

Today I also purchased some new music! I bought some Ben Folds (&Ben Folds Five) (I mentioned my new love of him last week, if I recall), a few songs by Train, and a few songs by Elton John. Who, by the way, I never realized sang so many of the songs he did until today! I feel ridiculously out of it. And lame. So, even though I never really 'liked' Elton John before, I can honestly say I'm a HUGE fan after realizing that he sang many of the songs that I love.

So yes, this was my day.

Onwards to tomorrow! Hope its another good one :)

Hungarian phrase: Actually, I've given up on this for now as my friend Louie today informed me my pronunciation is wrong. Not my fault, but the fault of the site. Phooey. When I find a better pronunciation/Hungarian phrase website, it will be continued.

Last book read: "Don't you forget about me" (its a Gossip Girl book) 

(I'm gonna switch last book/movie read/watched seeing as it doesn't change as often as it could. Whenever it changes, it will be posted, kay? :D)

guys

I debated to say I like boys, or men. Most of the guys I like nowadays are above 18, so they should qualify as men. Though its weird to think of them as men, mainly because they still act like boys.

Anyway, this was just an excuse for me to mention a bunch of male celebrities and talk about how hot they are. Lets go.

Tom Fletcher - I think I've already briefly touched on this one. Tom is without a doubt my biggest celebrity crush. He's in the band McFly. I'm not sure whats cuter - how crazy he goes onstage with his guitar, his British accent, his sense of humor, or his obsessions with Harry Potter, Friends, Star Wars, Toy Story, and etc.

Corey Monteith - Oh Glee. How I love that show, so that I can watch Monteith portray Finn every Tuesday night. Not only is he freakin' adorable, his voice is just soo hot.

Paul Rudd - I fell in love with the fiiiiiiine man when watching Season 9 of Friends a few years ago. And then I discovered Clueless. And then he was in I Love You, Man. Among others. God, he's just so tasty.

Austin Nichols (left, with his girlfriend Sophia Bush, who I happen to think the is most gorgeous girl ever) - My love for him is far more recent - though he does reconnect to my past. Last April I became obsessed with One Tree Hill, and when I watched Season 6 a few weeks ago - bam, Austin Nichols entered the show. And I loooove him. When I wiki'd him a few weeks ago, I realized he was in a movie I used to love when I was like 14 and younger. Holiday in the Sun (with Mary Kate and Ashley!)! He played Griffin. And oh my god, I thought he was so ugly! Which is perhaps why I love him even more though now. He's always had a sexy voice though. Oh, and his smile? SO cute.

Ryan Reynolds - Possibly the second hottest on this list (Physically, personality not included) after Austin Nichols. This man is just...gahhhhh. He's got one of the most perfect chin lines ever. And he has niiiiice abs. And don't even get my started on how good he was in Just Friends. And the Proposal. And Definitely Maybe. THIS MAN IS AWESOME. And I hate Scarlett Johanssen <3

Matthew Perry - Friends. Yeah. I think I'm more in love with Chandler Bing than Matthew.

Bradley Cooper - I think its his nose that makes him really hot, for some reason. And the way he stands - I can just tell he's SO confident.

Harry Judd - Also in McFly. Also, dead sexy. Seriously. He's just got one of those extremely handsome faces. And his hair is to die for. Perfect spiked (but not in a loser way.) And he plays drums. So. Hot.

This is all I can think of at the moment. I KNOW I have more to add to the list, but I'm just kind of blanking right now.

All of this made me sound like probably the most shallow person ever. But really, I'm not. I mean, looks are nice. I would even say they are somewhat important. But if a guy has an ugly personality? Get out. Looks are just an extra. Usually when I like a guy, he was cuter than before I liked him because I got to know him.

Hungarian phrase: Not today

Last movie watched: Would you believe me if I said I watched a movie last night but I don't remember what it is? Oops.

sleep

...and I'm a teenager. So I guess it goes hand in hand.

Last night, as I snuggled into my bed, I realized the best part about sleeping. The big comforter.  Really, and when you get the perfect mix of hot and cold...there's no better feeling in the world. And the fact that the big plushy blanket wrapped around you just adds to the comfort.

Which is one of my few dislikes about summer. No big blankets needed (unless one wants to overheat!). I mean, I can sleep without blankets, but I prefer not to. It feels too much like a nap when I'm not surrounded by the perfect amount of warmth.

So far this summer has been rather pleasing though. I go to sleep with just a sheet, and I'll usually wake up around 2 or 3 cold, and pull on the big blanket. I have developed the perfect system for this too. I sleep on 2/3 of the bed, and on the other 1/3, the blanket is kinda rolled up, so it takes no strength whatsoever to pull it over me.

I also like that I wake up in the middle of the night. For some odd reason, I like waking up in the middle of the night. Especially when I  have an early alarm set for the next morning. Waking up in the middle of the night, tired as heck, makes it seem like I've been sleeping longer when the alarm screeches for me to wake up at 6 AM. And I guess the main reason I'm ok with it is that when I wake up, I'm usually just SO out of it that it takes nothing to fall back asleep. And if it does, I'm still so tired that I'm too tired to be annoyed by the fact that I can't get back to sleep (and the sleeping feels longer still!).

Though, I do have troubles getting to sleep sometimes. This past week its been taking me a bit longer to get comfortable and fall asleep. But its nothing compared to the problems I used to experience. When I was 10 or so, my friend and I were about to head off to a summer camp for a week. The week before the summer camp, my friend spent the night and I couldn't get to sleep for the life of me. It was 1 AM, and I was sitting in the bathroom crying. That entire next week was pretty bad. Usually unable to sleep until 12 AM each night (which was late for me back then).

Luckily, after a few days at camp I began getting to sleep earlier but that was just because I was so tired from the days events. Ever since then, I've had major sleeping issues because the thought of not being able to get to sleep freaks me out.

Pretty much the big issue for me is noise. I hate hearing people snore. And breathe. This has gotten so bad to the point where I would leave sleepovers early so I could get sleep. Until I discovered earplugs. These magical things have been great. Although it does take me longer to get to sleep when I wear them (only like 30 minutes though). However, I don't mind hearing outside noises like dogs and crickets and etc. And I like falling asleep to the sound of people talking (whether actual people, or a television.)

But by far, the best way for me to get to sleep is for some quiet music to be playing. Its gotta be quiet for two reasons. 1) So my parents won't hear it and will also get some sleep and 2) So that I have to concentrate on it to hear the lyrics. I find this concentration helps my mind wander and eventually I drift off to sleep.

Which speaking of drifting off into sleep, I wish I could realize at the exact moment that I fell asleep that I was out. You know when you are so deep in thought, and then somehow you snap back to reality? And you know you weren't asleep but you feel like you were right there? Yeah.

Why can't I just turn on a button and get to sleep? And have a way where I automatically will have this amazing dream that doesn't make any sense that I will actually remember? That would be nice.

Speaking of dreams (not gonna get too into this cause I already wrote a lot), I had a few last night that I recall. And one was really scary. And sad. But oddly enough, I woke up without opening my eyes, and like...made the dream kinda end up how I wanted.

I suppose I gotta explain this one a little.

Basically I was on a boat with a friend and my dad and some enemies set a bomb in there and it was about to go off. So the ship was unraveling...and at this point it turned into my house? Well the back porch and yard anyhow. So my dad shooed my friend and I out of the backyard into the neighbors because for some reason the wood of the fence between would be unaffected by the bomb (though my house is wood, so looking back this makes no sense...)

And then he got in his truck, and was driving off. I could hear his truck as he was pulling out of the driveway, and gosh, he was being a careful driver which was freaking me out. I was literally crying and screaming for him to get far far away.

He did, thank god. And then my friend and I hear crying and there was this adorable blonde girl (maybe 4 years old?) on the jungle gym in my back yard. And the bomb was about to go off. So we tried to pull her over the fence (I was still crying at this point) and I cried to my friend, "I don't think we can get her!"

And it was at this point that I think I woke up? And I made it so that we pulled her over the fence. Then, after a few seconds of blackness and a lot of trying (my eyes wanted to remain shut), my eyes opened.

That dream really freaked me out. I'm still dwelling on it as if it were real. Like, why didn't my friend and I open the fence where the door thing was only a few yards away so she could run to us? And even though its definitely not real...it kinda still feels that way. And the fact that I may have made the little girls rescue happen while possible 'awake'...well that makes it seem like the little girl died when the bomb exploded anyway. That is seriously one of the scariest things I can possibly think of.

And I feel really messed up because of it. I didn't realize how screwed up this dream is making me feel till right now. While this seems to be a pretty epic and clear dream...its a dream I really would have liked to forget.

Hungarian phrase: Szívesen (You're welcome)

Last movie watched: Just Friends (ahhh Ryan Reynolds.) (Thumbs up for watching movies when I wake up!)

actually getting out of the house

Which I did today!

Whoo hoo! Unfortunately I don't really feel like writing today. Which is why I suppose this blog will remain boring and full of complaints about me being bored - because when I have stuff going on, I don't feel like blogging afterward. In fact, I usually feel like sleeping. Like at this very moment.

I will go on ahead anyway though because I'll probably forget some of this stuff tomorrow, and its all still very fresh in my head.

Lets start with my dentist appointment.

At my dentist office, there was a new hygienist dude. At least for me. I think he was new-ish (past 6 months new, that is) though. This was my first dentist appointment at this dentist office (where I have been going for maybe 4 or 5 years now?) where I did not watch the TV because he started out talking to me about Europe (cause he heard I was traveling later this summer) and I thought it would be rude to ask for the TV to be on. It was ok though.

ANYWAY. Since he was new, he had no knowledge of my past dentistry experience which my prior hygienists did because I had mentioned it when I first started going to this particular place to get my teeth looked at.

So he mentioned that he was going to polish my teeth, and I mentioned that when I was young, I would often cry before and during the entire polishing process. Until I was like 11. I know, seriously, pathetic. He kinda laughed, and then I said something like, "Yeah I still don't really like it, but I've realized its something that needs to be done."

It was at this point that he basically told me that, no, it didn't.

Apparently polishing is for removing stains. I don't know WHAT I thought polishing was for before, but I thought it was something uber important. Like removing plaque? Oh, but polishing does do that! Though he informed me that it only removes surface plaque, and that can be removed with a toothbrush.

!!!!!!!

He then said I could bypass the polishing if I wanted since my teeth weren't really stained, and it was purely to freshen up.

I figured my mom would want me to get them polished, and I like shinier teeth, so I said I'd like him to polish them anyway (despite the nasty taste and consistency).

SECOND.

I went to a graduation party for a friend of mine, and there was an extremely beautiful man there. Oh my god. I noticed him when he was sitting in the hot tub (my friends and I were up above cause we didn't bring swim suits). And I thought he was pretty cute.

As I was pointing him out to a friend of mine, he started to get out of the hot tub. And oh my god. His abs. So. Beautiful.

I stared at him for much of the evening.

Before I knew his name, I called him 'Abs'. It seemed fitting. One of my friends called him 'Jacob Black' because of how tan he was. (Keep in mind that this Twilight reference was not because she is a Twilight fan. It was more making fun of him and how tan he was. BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS BEAUTIFUL). So then our friend (who's graduation party it was) informed us of his real name.

But I continued to call him Abs. Because he is/was nothing but a piece of meat to me.

I feel ok admitting that because I will never see him again - due to the fact that while I am extremely outgoing at times, I'm freaking shy when it comes to meeting new people (college....new people...agh scary!).

And then after the party we went to Target because there is nothing else to do in this lame town. How sad. On the bright side, there was a book we looked at that had a lot of pretty cupcakes.

Yesterday my friend in Hungary (who I am going out to see later!) got online, and responded to many of my comments (cause I leave them daily while she is away for the summer. This is the third year of it.) and it made me uber duber happy! Yesterday I also worked a 7 hour shift. Yayyy for money. I was extremely unhappy to arrive back home at 10 PM to find my sister had finished off the last of the ice cream.

Oh well, good thing its out of the house so I can eat healthier? Eh. I need to hit the gym...

Hungarian Phrase: Kérem (Please) (Still unable to conquer 'goodbye'! ARGH)

Last movie watched: Sweet Home Alabama (I didn't watch it again even! High five for having a life and not watching too many movies! *smack!* <-- as in giving a high five...yeah...)