sleep

...and I'm a teenager. So I guess it goes hand in hand.

Last night, as I snuggled into my bed, I realized the best part about sleeping. The big comforter.  Really, and when you get the perfect mix of hot and cold...there's no better feeling in the world. And the fact that the big plushy blanket wrapped around you just adds to the comfort.

Which is one of my few dislikes about summer. No big blankets needed (unless one wants to overheat!). I mean, I can sleep without blankets, but I prefer not to. It feels too much like a nap when I'm not surrounded by the perfect amount of warmth.

So far this summer has been rather pleasing though. I go to sleep with just a sheet, and I'll usually wake up around 2 or 3 cold, and pull on the big blanket. I have developed the perfect system for this too. I sleep on 2/3 of the bed, and on the other 1/3, the blanket is kinda rolled up, so it takes no strength whatsoever to pull it over me.

I also like that I wake up in the middle of the night. For some odd reason, I like waking up in the middle of the night. Especially when I  have an early alarm set for the next morning. Waking up in the middle of the night, tired as heck, makes it seem like I've been sleeping longer when the alarm screeches for me to wake up at 6 AM. And I guess the main reason I'm ok with it is that when I wake up, I'm usually just SO out of it that it takes nothing to fall back asleep. And if it does, I'm still so tired that I'm too tired to be annoyed by the fact that I can't get back to sleep (and the sleeping feels longer still!).

Though, I do have troubles getting to sleep sometimes. This past week its been taking me a bit longer to get comfortable and fall asleep. But its nothing compared to the problems I used to experience. When I was 10 or so, my friend and I were about to head off to a summer camp for a week. The week before the summer camp, my friend spent the night and I couldn't get to sleep for the life of me. It was 1 AM, and I was sitting in the bathroom crying. That entire next week was pretty bad. Usually unable to sleep until 12 AM each night (which was late for me back then).

Luckily, after a few days at camp I began getting to sleep earlier but that was just because I was so tired from the days events. Ever since then, I've had major sleeping issues because the thought of not being able to get to sleep freaks me out.

Pretty much the big issue for me is noise. I hate hearing people snore. And breathe. This has gotten so bad to the point where I would leave sleepovers early so I could get sleep. Until I discovered earplugs. These magical things have been great. Although it does take me longer to get to sleep when I wear them (only like 30 minutes though). However, I don't mind hearing outside noises like dogs and crickets and etc. And I like falling asleep to the sound of people talking (whether actual people, or a television.)

But by far, the best way for me to get to sleep is for some quiet music to be playing. Its gotta be quiet for two reasons. 1) So my parents won't hear it and will also get some sleep and 2) So that I have to concentrate on it to hear the lyrics. I find this concentration helps my mind wander and eventually I drift off to sleep.

Which speaking of drifting off into sleep, I wish I could realize at the exact moment that I fell asleep that I was out. You know when you are so deep in thought, and then somehow you snap back to reality? And you know you weren't asleep but you feel like you were right there? Yeah.

Why can't I just turn on a button and get to sleep? And have a way where I automatically will have this amazing dream that doesn't make any sense that I will actually remember? That would be nice.

Speaking of dreams (not gonna get too into this cause I already wrote a lot), I had a few last night that I recall. And one was really scary. And sad. But oddly enough, I woke up without opening my eyes, and like...made the dream kinda end up how I wanted.

I suppose I gotta explain this one a little.

Basically I was on a boat with a friend and my dad and some enemies set a bomb in there and it was about to go off. So the ship was unraveling...and at this point it turned into my house? Well the back porch and yard anyhow. So my dad shooed my friend and I out of the backyard into the neighbors because for some reason the wood of the fence between would be unaffected by the bomb (though my house is wood, so looking back this makes no sense...)

And then he got in his truck, and was driving off. I could hear his truck as he was pulling out of the driveway, and gosh, he was being a careful driver which was freaking me out. I was literally crying and screaming for him to get far far away.

He did, thank god. And then my friend and I hear crying and there was this adorable blonde girl (maybe 4 years old?) on the jungle gym in my back yard. And the bomb was about to go off. So we tried to pull her over the fence (I was still crying at this point) and I cried to my friend, "I don't think we can get her!"

And it was at this point that I think I woke up? And I made it so that we pulled her over the fence. Then, after a few seconds of blackness and a lot of trying (my eyes wanted to remain shut), my eyes opened.

That dream really freaked me out. I'm still dwelling on it as if it were real. Like, why didn't my friend and I open the fence where the door thing was only a few yards away so she could run to us? And even though its definitely not real...it kinda still feels that way. And the fact that I may have made the little girls rescue happen while possible 'awake'...well that makes it seem like the little girl died when the bomb exploded anyway. That is seriously one of the scariest things I can possibly think of.

And I feel really messed up because of it. I didn't realize how screwed up this dream is making me feel till right now. While this seems to be a pretty epic and clear dream...its a dream I really would have liked to forget.

Hungarian phrase: Szívesen (You're welcome)

Last movie watched: Just Friends (ahhh Ryan Reynolds.) (Thumbs up for watching movies when I wake up!)